Defying Obedience: Sunita Saw on Defiance, Milgram, and How to Speak Up

Short Summary

In this Science Quickly conversation, Sunita Saw, a Cornell professor, reframes defiance as aligning actions with core values under pressure. She explains why people comply, how insinuation anxiety shapes our responses, and practical steps to practice defiance in everyday moments, including guidance for parents on modeling and teaching value-based dissent.

Introduction to Defiance

Sunita Saw, professor of management and organizations at Cornell University, challenges the common idea that being “good” means always obeying. She reframes defiance as acting in line with one’s true values even when pressure pushes in the opposite direction. Saw traces the pattern of compliance across domains from medicine to finance and everyday interactions, showing that defiance is accessible to all when properly understood and practiced.

"Defiance is simply acting in accordance with your true values, especially when there is pressure to do otherwise." - Sunita Saw, Professor of Management and Organizations, Cornell University

Milgram and the Psychology of Compliance

The conversation revisits Stanley Milgram’s obedience experiments from the 1960s, which explored why people follow orders even when they sense harm. Saw emphasizes that participants were not moral failures but individuals torn by a powerful social dynamic. In real-world settings, people often comply with dangerous or misguided guidance because they lack the skills to say no and because social pressures are intense.

"They were trying to defy, they just didn't know how." - Sunita Saw

Three Reasons People Don’t Speak Up

Saw identifies three core barriers to defiance: social pressure to conform, a misunderstanding of what compliance, consent, and defiance actually mean, and a lack of training in how to say no. The idea of insinuation anxiety is central: rejecting a suggestion can signal distrust or threaten relationships, making people reluctant to push back even when they disagree.

"Under and around the Milgram era, there is a powerful psychological force I call insinuation anxiety." - Sunita Saw

How to Build Defiance as a Skill

The path forward involves redefining defiance as a practical, value-aligned behavior rather than a dramatic act. Saw urges people to start with small acts of defiance in low-stakes situations to build the habit, such as correcting a coffee order or voicing a concern in a routine setting. She also recommends anticipation, visualization, and role-playing to train the voice and response before crisis moments arise.

"Defiance isn't just for the brave or the extraordinary... it's available and necessary for all of us." - Sunita Saw

Parenting for Defiance

For parents, Saw highlights role-modeling defiance and engaging children in values exercises. By articulating family values and practicing defiance in everyday contexts, parents can cultivate a generation better equipped to challenge harmful norms and stand up for others.

"We can build a society where one day in that same alleyway, one of the teenage boys speaks up and says that’s not OK." - Sunita Saw

Conclusion

The discussion concludes with a hopeful view that every act of consent, compliance, or dissent helps shape the social order. Saw’s work aims to make defiance accessible, teachable, and prosocial, empowering people to act in accordance with their values even under pressure.